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« NVC FOR COMPASSIONATE SOCIAL CHANGE | Main | Alive But Not Living »
Tuesday
May152012

Human Resilience in Spite of Low Self Acceptance

by Faye Landey, CL Trainer 

Are all the lessons you learned in early childhood serving your best interest today?

Most likely you, like the majority of us, grew up in an environment in which our parents, teachers, and authority figures believed that if they told us we are stupid, this would encourage us to be smart, and if told that we were bad and sinful we would rise to become wholesome strong humans, and that if told we were ungrateful and disrespectful, that we would automatically become respecting and happy, caring citizens.

And to top it off, if we tried to nurture or take care of our own needs, we were labeled as selfish, and you know how far that got you.

So chances are, many of us were parented with messages that were less than affirmative, told we needed to change and would be punished if we did not obey the rules and mores of the day.

Acceptance was conditional on compliance and subordination.

The way our brains receive and store messages, years later we now "parent" and speak to ourselves - often unconsciosly -with the same message "you are unworthy, unvaluable , and you need to constantly improve yourself or else...".

You know, we have done remarkably well in spite of our self bereting.

Technology, Education, Life Style, Medicine, and so many other human achievements substantiate our resilience as a species even though we are afflicted with limiting negative beliefs about our selves.

Think about this: what if we were more self accepting, had fewer self-criticisms and put-downs, and actually became champions for our own well being and growth. Might we soar even more as a compassionate and caring people? Fewer incidents of violence and suffering as a start?

Try more acceptance of yourself!  Like chicken soup - it couldn't hurt!

I'd love to hear from you with your thoughts. Would you post a comment here on the website:

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